It is truly a shocking moment when one discovers an au pair stealing. Opening up one’s home and giving them the responsibility of taking care of one’s children, only to find that this trust has been breached. If you are concerned about what you should do upon finding your au pair stolen, know you are not alone.
The aim of this guide is to thoughtfully take one through such a tough scenario and ensure that one’s family remains protected while responsibly addressing the matter.
When that trust is breached, feelings of anger, confusion, and even betrayal may rise to the fore. So, what do you do when you catch your au pair stealing? Proceed with caution in this sensitive issue, and let’s take this sensitive situation to an end while you will be able to perform it thoughtfully while protecting your family in the process.
Watching for the Red Flags: Spotting Signs of Au Pair Stealing
First things first: you need to make sure your suspicions about theft are definitely well-founded.
Missing Things, and Unexplained Disappearance
Is money, jewelry, or personal items disappearing without your knowledge? While it’s easy to misplace items every now and then, a repetitive disappearance is something different. Take a discreet inventory of your valuables to track discrepancies.
Changes in Behavior
Has your au pair been acting strangely lately? Maybe she isn’t making eye contact, has become extremely secretive, and nervous, acts differently than usual, or appears stressed when certain topics arise. These changes in behavior could be warning signs of au pair stealing.
Inconsistent Stories
Is your au pair telling small lies or inconsistencies? Small deceptions sometimes lead to big problems, like theft.
Taking Thoughtful Action: Addressing Suspected Childcare Provider Theft
You have documented your observations; now it’s time to take action cautiously.
Keep Calm and Reflect
Shocked or angry might well be your very first instinct, but it is very important not to let this get in the way. Take a moment to reflect on what has happened and make sure that you are assuming nothing. You can also try writing down thoughts since it will help both in the clarification of feelings and facts.
Look for Advice from Friends or Professionals
Talk to a friend or relative who may offer you a fresh perspective or can relate to your situation. If you are undecided on how to proceed, you may also want to consult with an attorney who represents domestic employees.
Open Communication with Your Au Pair
When you are ready to do so, have a private talk with your au pair in an open fashion. Timing is Everything: Find time when you are both not busy and can discuss things without being interrupted.
Convey Your Fears Gently:
Use “I” statements to convey the meaning, hence how you feel. As in, “I find some of my belongings missing, and this has aroused a great feeling of panic in me.”
Listen Actively: Give them the chance to explain themselves. Probably, there might have been a misunderstanding or some prevailing issue that needs your help.
Consider Cultural Differences
Remember that cultural misunderstandings can take place. For example, in some cultures it is common to share property communally. Sometimes just explaining house rules and expectations can alleviate the situation, with no further argument or altercation arising.
Taking It Further – If Necessary
If the problem continues or if the theft is serious, you may have to take more formal action.
Contact the Au Pair Agency
First, if your au pair was placed through an agency like ours, immediately contact them. They can support you, help moderate conversations, or advise on next steps. Often agencies have procedures in place to handle such situations discreetly and effectively.
Call the Police and the Immigration Department
If the amount taken is substantial or if you feel that you are in danger:
File a Police Report:
This will be on record, and you may just need it when making insurance claims.
Laws on theft by domestic workers vary depending on where you are. In most cases, however, you will follow these procedures in order to protect yourself:
- First and foremost, file a report with your local police department regarding the theft.
- Obtain an official police report of the incident.
- Notify your regional immigration office of this problem that you have.
- Bring the police report to that office and have them briefed on what happened with your au pair.
By documenting the au pair stealing while at the same time reporting it to the relevant authorities. It is important in order for you not to fall into any legal or financial implications that may result from the actions of the au pair.
Remember, these steps would be usually recommended; however, it is always advisable to seek a legal professional expert in either employment law or immigration matters for specific advice related to your particular situation.
Letting Her Go
If the trust is ultimately breached:
Give Notice in Writing: Adhere to what the contract says about firing.
Make Travel Arrangements: Book or arrange a trip back to her home country, making sure that everything is done with dignity.
Securing Home and Family – Bonus Advice From Our Expert
Prevention is a good way to ensure this situation does not happen again.
Lock Up Your Valuables
Get a Safe: Keep cash, jewelry, and important papers locked up.
Keep Off Limits: Limit access to parts of your home if necessary.
Set Clear Household Rules
Create Household Handbook: Outline your expectations about privacy, personal property, and alone time.
Household Meetings: Have weekly or monthly meetings to voice any concerns or updates.
Create an Open Atmosphere
Encourage open communication. Let them know that whatever problems arise-be it homesickness, stress, or personal issues-your au pair has an outlet to talk to you.
Healing and Moving On
Theft is an emotionally exhausting experience for an entire family.
Address the Emotional Impact
Family Discussions: Clearly speak with your children about what happened on an age-appropriate level.
Seek Professional Help: Feelings of betrayal can be addressed through the process of counseling as a means of rebuilding trust.
Re-evaluate the Experience
Reflect on what can be learned.
Reassess Hiring Practices: Consider how you screen for candidates.
Enhance Onboarding: Utilize more of the orientation time to set expectations and build a rapport.
Hiring a New Au Pair, If you determine to hire another au pair:
Detailed Interviews: Based on the job description, ask specific questions and observe reactions.
Careful Reference Checking: You have to actually speak with the prior host families.
You may consider a probationary period that will ensure all things get in good fit before being taken to a whole commitment.
Conclusion
If you’re facing a similar situation, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Share your experience, seek advice, and take proactive steps to protect your family’s well-being. Remember, you’re not alone—help is available when you need it most.
Not sure where to start? Join a FREE 30-minute live consultation to get answers to all your questions. Speak with one of our experts to discover how we can help you navigate the process with ease.
📅 Book your free consultation now and take the first step toward hassle-free au pair placement!
With hundreds of successful placements, we provide expert assistance in navigating the au pair process, from visa support to cultural exchange programs. For more information about Au Pair, check out our latest article.
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